Saturday, May 30, 2009

Dreams


I've been having dreams that are very vivid lately. I know lots of people interpret dreams and find meanings and answers in them. Maybe dreams are gods answers to my questions? I don't know but these dreams are so relevant and so real I've taken to trying to interpret them myself.


So here's the latest series: A boy I have a crush on is in them.(I know, I know, I'm a 43 year old woman and 'the boy' is a 51 year old man but in regards to relationships I feel like a teenager!!) He's on a ferry and I'm on the wharf trying to tell him something but he can't hear me. I keep trying to tell him something (maybe that I like him!!) but he just can't hear. Last night in this dream he actually jumped off the ferry and swam over to me. Oh bliss, he swam over to me!!


Now that series of dreams is pretty easy to interpret, the problem lies in me trying to tell 'the boy' that I like him in real life. "Easy, just do it!" you may say but my fearful little heart is finding it impossible. So I've written him a letter........but I haven't sent it. It's not that I don't want to it's just the fear of his response is overwhelming.


Herein lies the problem: I don't tell him and I don't send the letter and he drifts away on his ferry and stops at another wharf (the horror!!) or

I either tell him or send the letter and he rejects me or (dream comes true) swims towards me.


Oh the pain and suffering I can inflict upon myself!!!! Option 3 is put my head in the sand, keep doing my artwork and pretend I don't care.


I need some serious help!!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Final Week

Well its the last week of my holidays and I've had a great break. Lots of eating out and relaxing, not much around the house type work but plenty of art work.

Last week I bought myself an opal ring. A beautiful crystal opal that flashes full colour in the merest hint of light. I bought to remind myself that I am OK. Every time I look at it I remind myself that I am loved by my friends and family. I can often get down about being single and being 43 but when I remind myself of all the love I have in my life it becomes less important to have a partner right now.

I am a lucky girl!!!!

Monday, May 25, 2009

Monday, monday.....

I have had a week of extemes. Today I took my daughter to the Children's Hospital and finally after 4 years we have been given a date for her operation. Well, an approximate date, in about 5 to 7 weeks. But its closer than 'come back in 6 months'.

I've had two of my 3 weeks off and have done lots of art work and even managed to get my friends ear cast in silver - that process took over 6 months to get to this stage. He had his ear bitten off 20 years ago and I'm making him a silver replacement. So far it looks great but I won't post photos til it's finished.

I've also been supporting a friend who is in end stage liver cancer. That's been hard but a few of us are supporting each other to make the last weeks of her life full of love, laughter and friendship. Who could want more than to be surrounded by love and loved ones. Thats what I would want.

That's all for today. More photos soon.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Time Flies

My how time flies. A week passed already, but I have been busy.
Here's the inside of my previously posted shrine.




And here are a couple more I've done this week too!!








I'm working on a couple more at the same time. This space away from working has allowed me to really look at how I fill my life and what gives me sanity when all around seems in chaos. Having a teenage daughter, work and other commitments really means I have little time to be me. Doing this kind of art work for no reason but my own pleasure is a way I can fill up my heart and make all the rest in my life possible.
I read something that made me think last week. I am the sole companion I will have in every waking moment of my life. Scary thought when I look at how I spend my time and if I'm good company for myself. So I've decided to be nicer to me!!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

A Week Later


Its amazing how much can happen in a week. Since my last post I've been offered a new job, resigned from my old job and left and am now on holidays!! I've decided to deicate my holidays to my creative life. Since finding Michael de Meng's work I've been obsessed!! I want to make shrines. Shrines to my life, shrines to love, shrines to remind me to live to the max. So here's my first one. I finished it in about 24 hours and used junk I have had lying around, some of it for years, waiting for the right piece to put it on.
I used an old mantle clock I found in the back lane, some little cherub dolls I bought, a couple of old spoons that I glued heart shaped turquoises onto, an old key that I glued an eye behind, a fossil (down the bottom), matchsticks and paint. And I had FUN!!!!!
I have two and a half more weeks of holidays so I hope I can make heaps more. I'll let you know. xx

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The Lodge

In answer to Messyfish's comment: For the last 2 years I've been working at a place called Edward Eagar Lodge. A homeless shelter for men and women that's situated on Bourke Street at Taylor Square (one of Sydney's less salubrious areas). It's a 5 storey, 76 bed, 24 hour facility. We also have a day centre where people who 'sleep rough' or live in boarding houses etc can come and have a shower, do their washing and eat a hot meal. As some people say 'it's a step below Matthew Talbot' and if you know Matthew Talbot you can probably picture what it might be like.

Police raids, drug overdoses, fights, psychoses, suicides, verbal and physical abuse are all in a days work there. But, as happened to me today, so is a client telling you they love you, signing a tattered card and giving it to me for my birthday, designing a tattoo just for me, sharing their half eaten pastry, giving me a ratty old bracelet and telling me they made it just for me and smiling a toothless smile.

I really am going to miss the place but I have an absolute storehouse of stories. My friend Lou at Pearshaped said I should write some of these stories down. I have a huge number of photos and some sketches but I know the memories will fade so I might just do that.

Now I'm moving on to a service that helps people with mental illness in their own communities. I really enjoy working with mental illness and will probably continue doing so for quite a while I'd say. Those people are much more interesting than plants!!

Hallelujah!!!

Today I resigned from my job and in three weeks I start a new one at Bondi Beach. What a sea change, from Taylor Square to the golden sands of Bondi. I'll miss my old clients and the maddness of the Lodge but I have a whole new set of clients at the beach.

Today, just to top off my final week at the Lodge we had a giant police raid. They were looking for four 'armed and dangerous' prison escapees. There were police everywhere acting on a tip off but no escapees to be found!! I hope thats the highlight of my week - I can do without adding to my memory bank of "Things That Happened at The Lodge".

God bless Sydney's homeless!! I love them all (or at least some of them).

Monday, May 4, 2009

Today

Today was an excellent day for a sickie. This is what I did after this mornings internet session.








Knitted a chunky scarf.




















Noticed the colours of the harbour.










Thanked god for where I live and all the love and beauty in my life. (And prayed he'd send me a boat like this one day.)

Inspiration

I took a 'sickie' from work today. A 'mental' and 'artistic' health day. I've been zooming around the internet all morning and have found some fantastic inspiration. This quote has really got me: Katherine Mansfield said, “Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself, face the truth.” It's from this wonderful site . What a treasure for all of us who want to play and be courageous.

Keri Smith is an absolute gem. You might all know her already but she is new to me and I LOVE HER!! So many cool and wacky ways to get creative.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

I am sailing....I am sailing....

I went sailing on Pittwater today with my Salty Sea Dog, Lonnie from Texas. The man knows everything there is to know about sailing and he's taught me sooooo much. Luckily there was some wind as the last two times we've been out there has been nothing and we've just drifted around Scotland Island for hours on end. But today we were howling, the boat was tipped to an alarming angle and at one stage I nearly sent Lonnie flying when a gust came up unexpectedly. I always fantasise about sailing around some exotic location when I'm on Pittwater but really it's as exotic as anywhere else in the world up there.

Often my eyes are closed to the beauty right in front of me.

Friday, May 1, 2009

TGIF


Thank god!!! I find it very hard to front up to work when my head is already out the door. I walked out on the boss today because I took offense to something he said. Very childish but I find it almost impossible to control my child like responses sometimes!


I bought a new book today 'Secrets of Rusty Things' by Michael de Meng. http://www.michaeldemeng.com/ I LOVE THIS STUFF !!


I love found object art, i also love outsider art. I'm trying to figure out how to get some lists etc up here so I can share my interests with my 2 friends!